How to Make Friends While Traveling

People always ask me if I get lonely traveling alone. The answer, is not usually.

Thailand vacation bestie - went and visited her in SF a month later!

Although I leave the country alone, I’m not alone the whole trip. I always find ways to make new friends and find company so it’s not a solitary journey.

It’s funny because as a child, I was painfully shy. So shy I wouldn’t ask my teacher to go to the bathroom, so shy that my parents worried about me! But I’m not that way anymore.

The first time I traveled solo was life-changing for me. I was forced out of my comfort zone in so many ways. I don’t consider myself shy anymore, but it was lifelong process to outgrow!

I remember one time I was at a networking event and I felt so out of place and awkward and so I called my dad (who is extremely friendly & social….he makes friends with strangers everywhere he goes). And I asked him – how do I talk to people?!

His advice: Lauren, it’s easy. All you have to do is ask, hey, how’s your day?

Simple as that.

Well that advice actually works wonders for traveling. Often times people are just as eager for travel buddies as you are – searching for an in to talk and connect with others. Remember that when you’re looking for friends. You aren’t the only one. It helps to remember, trust me.

Well here are my tips on how to make friends (when you don’t know anyone) while traveling….

I organized a private tour of Angkor Was for 10 people from our hostel (NEW FRIENDS!)

1. Choose hostels that have bars/restaurants/lounge areas. Even as I’ve gotten older, I still love staying in hostels for the social atmosphere. Not only are there many, many solo travelers to be found here – but most people in general are looking to make friends. You just don’t stay in a hostel if you want to be an island. When I’m searching for a hostel, I always check the reviews to see if there is a good social environment in which to meet people – this can take many forms, but it’s usually a common lounge area, bar/club, or restaurant on site. Good key phrases to scan for are “easy to meet people”, “good for solo travelers”, “social atmosphere”, etc.

Friend I met on Couchsurfing before I arrived in Thailand

2. Choose hostels that host group activities/tours/themed events – This isn’t always advertised on hostel websites, but it’s a huge perk for me when traveling alone. I always scan the reviews to see if the hostel organizes weekly family dinners, bar crawls, salsa lessons, etc. This is a really easy way to sign up and immediately connect with other travelers. Not to mention, sometimes these activities are free!

3. Take a tour– Sometimes I know I can do a hike or activity on my own (and save a bit of cash), but I still decide to do it as a tour because then I can be around people and maybe make a friend or two! Tours usually attract travelers of all ages, so expect a wider age range of potential friends than hanging at a hostel….but I’ve met some really wonderful, aspirational people on tours – for example, a couple in their late 70s still traveling the world, living life to the fullest! Now if that isn’t inspiring, I don’t know what is!

We met thru a friend and ended up traveling Cambodia & Thailand together.

4. Ask a stranger a travel related question – If you are struggling for a “pickup line” or something to say to a stranger (and you don’t feel like using “hey, how’s your day?” – which I still recommend), asking someone a travel related question is a great way to go. You can ask them if they’ve been to x location yet and how it was, how long they are traveling for, where they’ve been so far, the favorite part of their trip, etc. It’s a known fact that people love talking about themselves, PLUS if they are traveling, you probably share at least one thing in common – a love for travel. So you already have at least one topic to connect on!

5. Tinder Travel – I know this one seems silly, but back when I was single, I would literally Tinder to find friends when I was in Southeast Asia. I wasn’t interested in dating someone, but figured it would at least connect me with people to hang out with! Well apparently someone at Tinder had the same idea, because there is now Tinder Travel that specifically helps you find friends while traveling! I’m sad I didn’t get to that one first.

Two friends groups merged for the Full Moon Party - we were better together!

6. Couchsurfing– On a similar note, I’ve also used the Couchsurfing website to find friends. And no, I’ve never actually stayed on someone’s couch, but there is a forum where you can share upcoming travel plans, ask questions, and it’s a great way to connect with fellow travelers. I have met several people on Couchsurfing that has led to long term friendships. In fact, one of them is even my best friend! (And we’ve now traveled to 4 countries together!) Of course, play this one and Tinder Travel safely – always meet in a public location and make sure the person is who they say they are!

7. Be open– When you travel alone, you have to be a yes girl. You need to be open to possibilities and conversations, even if it’s a little outside the norm for you. If someone asks you a question, it’s a door. Walk thru it and don’t shut it too quickly. Ask them a question back, strike up a conversation. If you get invited to do something with a group, throw your itinerary out the window and join. Lean into spontaneity & leave judgment behind, because you never know if the person you’re sitting down next to could be your new best friend.

Boat friends in Cambodia

The cool thing about making friends while traveling is that the friendship process gets put into hyper-speed. I’ve met people traveling, hung out for a week, and walked away feeling like I had a new very close friend. The sort of friend that would take me years to build up the same level of friendship if I met them at home.

I think it’s because the people you meet traveling are of a similar breed – you share a common love for travel – and get to experience one of life’s most special moments together….a new destination, place, or event.